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How to Love Others

May 13, 2013

Book coverWishing others to be happy doesn’t mean we give them everything they want, because sometimes what they want can be harmful. Wishing them to be happy entails wanting them to be free from pain and loneliness. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they were free from these and all other miseries? In order to love others, we have to be able to overcome our anger and hatred toward them. We have to be able to forgive them for the wrongs they’ve done. To do that, we have to get “me” out of the way and see that when people create harm, it is a reflection of their own pain, confusion, and misery. We just happened to walk across their path. We may even have done something to antagonize them, either deliberately or accidentally, but the reason that they got so upset is because of what is going on inside of them. We might also look at how we made ourselves into a target or accidentally became a target onto which they projected their confusion. Maybe we weren’t very considerate of them. Maybe we have certain bad habits of which we’re not aware and to which they’re reacting.

From How to Free Your Mind: The Practice of Tara the Liberator by Thubten Chodron, pages 34-35.

This post was posted in Dharma

1 Response to How to Love Others

  • Une says:

    In hell, these otherwise nice words have no meaning: "accidentally became a target onto which they projected their confusion"? I live in Norway (due to an unfortunate mistake), where everyone who is not a member of a Norwegian clan, is a target and gets treated worse than an animal. Their ignorance is as big as their inherited wealth. After 10 years of continuous pain and loosing everything I ever had, including a carrier as a researcher, I lost my compassion for them and stopped to consider them human beings.

    Posted on May 13, 2013 at 4:27 pm