Chapter 1: First Evening

Opening and Beginning Instruction
A traditional beginning for meditation retreats is taking refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. To take refuge in the Buddha means acknowledging the seed of enlightenment that is within ourselves, the possibility of freedom. It also means taking refuge in those qualities which the Buddha embodies, qualities like fearlessness, wisdom, love and compassion. Taking refuge in the Dharma means taking refuge in the law, in the way things are; it is acknowledging our surrender to the truth, allowing the Dharma to unfold within us. Taking refuge in the Sangha means taking support in the community, in all of us helping one another towards enlightenment and freedom.

An indispensable foundation for meditation practice is following certain moral precepts. It is a way of maintaining a basic purity of body, speech, and mind. The five precepts which should be followed are: not killing, which means refraining from knowingly taking any life, not even swatting a mosquito or stepping on an ant; not stealing, which means not taking anything which is not given; refraining from sexual misconduct, which in the context of this retreat means observing celibacy; not lying or speaking falsely or harshly; and not taking intoxicants, which again in the context of the meditation course means not taking alcohol or drugs. Following these precepts will provide a strong base for the development of concentration, and will make the growth of insight possible.

We are all sharing something very special in having the opportunity to be here, to look within ourselves in this quiet and secluded setting. It is rare to have an entire month devoted to meditation, to finding out about ourselves, about who we are. There are a few attitudes which will be helpful in maintaining a serious and balanced effort. The first of these is patience: there are times when the month will seem endless and everyone will be wondering, particularly at four-thirty on cold mornings, exactly what they are doing here. In the course of the meditation practice there will be many ups and downs. There will be times when the meditation is good and beautiful and insightful, and times when it will be boring, painful, full of restlessness and doubt. Being patient throughout all these experiences will help to keep the mind in balance. Someone once asked Trungpa Rinpoche where "grace" fit into the Buddhist tradition. He replied that grace is patience. If we have a patient mind, all things will unfold in a natural and organic way. Patience means staying in a state of balance regardless of what is happening, staying easy and relaxed and alert.

Milarepa, the famous Tibetan yogi, advised his disciples to "hasten slowly." Hasten in the sense of being continuous and unrelenting in your effort, but do so with poise and equanimity. Persistent and full of effort, yet very relaxed and balanced.

Another aid for deepening meditation is silence. We don't often get a good look at what's happening in our minds because talking distracts our attention and dissipates our energy. Much of the energy that is conserved by not talking can be used for the development of awareness and mindfulness. As with the meditation practice itself, silence too should be easy and relaxed. This does not mean talking when you want to, but just relaxing into the silence, going through the day quietly aware. By keeping silence, the whole range of mental and physical activity will become extremely clear; verbal silence makes possible a deeper silence of mind.

Interaction between friends or couples is discouraged. Try to cultivate a sense of aloneness. To do this, it is helpful to suspend preconceptions about yourselves, about relationships, about other people. Take this time to experience yourself deeply.

We are each going to die alone. It is necessary to come to terms with our basic aloneness, to become comfortable with it. The mind can become strong and peaceful in that understanding, making possible a beautiful communion with others. When we understand ourselves, then relationships become easy and meaningful.

It is also helpful not to mix different practices. Many of you have done various kinds of meditation. For this period of time it would be good to concentrate solely on the development of Vipassana, or insight. It is through the cultivation of mindfulness that insight develops. Concentrating all efforts during this month on the development of moment to moment mindfulness will prevent superficiality of practice. If all efforts are directed towards one goal, the mind will become powerful and penetrating.

There is also great value in slowing down. There is no hurry, no place to go, nothing else to do, just a settling back into the moment. In all activities during the day be very mindful, notice carefully all your movements. The meditation deepens through the continuity of awareness.

We'll begin the sitting practice with a very simple object of awareness: mindfulness of breathing. Assume any posture that is comfortable to you, keeping the back reasonably straight, without being stiff or strained, if you are in a cramped or bent-over position, you will more quickly become uncomfortable. You can sit in a chair if you like. The important thing is not to move very often. The eyes should be closed, unless you have been trained in a technique where they are kept slightly open, and you prefer to do that. Keeping the eyes open is merely a way of putting them someplace and then forgetting about them. Generally it seems easier if they're closed in a relaxed way. But it doesn't matter.

Awareness of the breath can be practiced in one of two ways. When you breathe in, the abdomen naturally rises or extends and when you breathe out, it falls. Keep your attention on the movement of the abdomen, not imagining, not visualizing anything, just experiencing the sensation of the movement. Don't control or force the breath in any way, merely stay attentive to the rising, falling movement of the abdomen.

The alternative is to be aware of the breath as it goes in and out of the nostrils, keeping the attention in the area around the tip of the nose or upper lip. Maintain the attention on the breath much as a watchman standing at a gate observes people passing in and out. Don't follow the breath all the way down or all the way out; don't control or force the breathing. Simply be aware of the in and out breath as it passes the nostrils. It is helpful in the beginning of practice to make mental notes either of "rising, falling" or "in, out." This aids in keeping the mind on the object.

In the first few minutes see which object appears more clearly, either the rising, falling or the in, out. Then choose one place of attention and stay with it, do not go back and forth. If at times it becomes less distinct, don't switch to the other object thinking it's going to be easier. Once you have decided where you're going to cultivate your attention keep it there and try to remain with it through all the changes. It is sometimes clear, sometimes not, sometimes deep, sometimes shallow, sometimes long, sometimes short. Remember, it is not a breathing exercise; it is the beginning exercise in mindfulness.

The walking meditation is done by noticing the lifting, forward and placing movement of the foot in each step. It is helpful to finish one step completely before lifting the other foot. "Lifting, moving, placing, lifting, moving, placing." It is very simple. Again it is not an exercise in movement. It is an exercise in mindfulness. Use the movement to develop a careful awareness. In the course of the day, you can expect many changes. Sometimes you may feel like walking more quickly, sometimes very slowly. You can take the steps as a single unit, "stepping, stepping." Or you may start out walking quickly and, in that same walking meditation, slow down until you are dividing it again into the three parts. Experiment. The essential thing is to be mindful, to be aware of what's happening.

In walking, the hands should remain stationary either behind the back, at the sides, or in front. It's better to look a little ahead, and not at your feet, in order to avoid being involved in the concept of "foot" arising from the visual contact. All of the attention should be on experiencing the movement, feeling the sensations of the lifting, forward, placing motions.

This is the schedule to give you an idea of how the days will progress.

4:30—awakening
5:00–6:30— walk and sit
6:30–7:30— breakfast
7:30–8:00—walking
8:00–9:00— group sitting
9:00–9:45—walking
9:45–10:45 —group sitting
10:45–11:30 —walking
11:30–1:15 —lunch and rest
1:15–2:00 —group sitting
2:00–2:45 —walking
2:45–3:45 —group sitting
3:45–5:00 —walk and sit
5:00–5:30—tea
5:30–6:00 —walking
6:00–7:00 —group sitting
7:00–8:00—talk
8:00–8:45—walking
8:45–9:45—group sitting
9:45–10:00—tea
10:00—further practice or sleep

The schedule will be posted. For the first few days or week, try to follow it as much as possible. As you become comfortable spending the day meditatively, in acontinuous effort of mindfulness, you will discover your own pace. Just sit and walk as continuously as possible. Take meals, as all activities, with mindfulness and awareness. After some time you might like to walk longer, to walk for an hour or an hour and a half, and then sit. Some people like to sit longer, for two or three hours at a time; perhaps some of you will like to stay up late at night. When I was first practicing in India, I meditated in the very late night hours: the time between midnight and three I found peaceful and quiet and good for practice. As the meditation gets stronger, less and less sleep is needed. Go to sleep when you feel really tired, not just out of habit at a certain hour. It may be that as the meditation develops, you will not feel tired at all and can keep up the practice day and night. Try to feel out what is comfortable for you, what maximizes the effort without forcing or straining.

Saint Francis de Sales wrote,

Be patient with everyone, but above all, with yourself. I mean, do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage. I am glad you make a fresh beginning daily. There is no better means of attainment to the spiritual life than by continually beginning again, and never thinking that we have done enough. How are we to be patient in dealing with our neighbor's faults if we are impatient in dealing with our own? He who is fretted by his own failings will not correct them. All profitable correction comes from a calm and peaceful mind.