Introduction

In the past fifty years, a significant number of Westerners have adopted Buddhist practice as a spiritual path. We have learned much from contact with inspiring Asian Buddhist teachers about opening our hearts to others, easing our pain, and getting in touch with our most fundamental nature. Yet there is a dark side to the transplantation of this ancient spiritual tradition to American soil. Buddhist philosophy and meditation practice offer many tools for profound spiritual development, but they do not address all the psychological concerns of Westerners. Without more culturally appropriate interventions such as psychotherapy, even some advanced meditators continue to suffer from anxiety, depression, isolating narcissism, or numbed disengagement.

In the 1970s, when meditation was first taught widely, there was much hope for its therapeutic potential. New evidence showed that meditation contributed positively to reducing the physical correlates of stress such as high blood pressure. In our initial enthusiasm, many of us hoped that traditional meditation would help prevent the emotional turmoil that occurs in our relationships and work lives. When it did not, we often blamed ourselves first, assuming there was something wrong with the way we were practicing. But gradually we also came to ask, Were our expectations of traditional practice out of line with what it could actually deliver? Was something missing from the practices we were doing?

As a therapist and a teacher of meditation, I have seen these scenarios play out repeatedly over the years. Some meditators, overwhelmed by psychological problems, dropped their Buddhist practice altogether, seeing it as irrelevant. Others remained committed to practice and grappled with their problems without seeking professional assistance, sometimes struggling with repeated disappointments in relationships and career, believing that they needed to "practice harder." Still others, like me, sought professional help while continuing their involvement in traditional practice.

But a new series of issues arose for Western Buddhists who entered psychotherapy. Buddhist teachers counsel us to abandon anger, develop patience, give up attachment, and understand the absence of self; this is taught in a context of disciplined communal practice—the sangha. Therapists, conversely, encourage those who are emotionally shut down to experience feelings of anger, and they facilitate the quest for relationship and intimacy; this is done in a context that supports self-assertion and individuality. How are we to follow both approaches? How can we productively understand these inconsistencies? Can they be reconciled?

Answers have not come easily or quickly. Resources for considering these questions in depth were initially lacking. During the last decades of the twentieth century, not much attention was paid to the substantial differences in culture and psychology between traditional Buddhism and modern Western culture. Many of us initially wanted to ignore such issues, preferring what I would now call the culturally innocent position, that the "superficial" differences represented by culture do not matter. Indeed, such discrepancies and their import often do not become clear right away. However, over time they can affect our relationships with teachers, the tradition, and our practice itself. On the other hand, the sensitive exploration of these contrasts can bring to light the unique and valuable contributions that we can cull from both Asian and Western cultures. Such investigation can clarify in a respectful way the manner in which teachings and teachers may not address our particular emotional needs or cultural expectations. For example, a monk who has never had an intimate sexual relationship and comes from a culture where sharing personal feelings is not emphasized may find it difficult to respond adequately to the relationship questions of a Western student who has a deep interest in having a romantic partner and communicating effectively in an intimate relationship. For such students, other resources may be much more productive.

There is no end to the possible misunderstandings that can arise when students from our therapy-oriented culture wish to share their thoughts and emotions with a teacher who comes from a culture that honors restraint and humility. Teachers who explicitly or implicitly encourage such values may seem to be encouraging passivity and self-denial, and this can be particularly onerous to women, people of color, and other oppressed minorities who need to be appropriately self-assertive in their quest for social justice. When unacknowledged, such cultural gaps can cause teachers to misunderstand their students, who in turn suffer feelings of alienation and emotional injury and, in extreme instances, choose to leave. If we lack a clear understanding of our differences, opportunities for benefiting from the profound spiritual insights offered by the tradition can be lost.

In light of the experience of numerous Western Buddhist students in a variety of traditions, it has become clear that integrating Buddhist practice in a meaningful way requires us to move out from under the protective canopy of Buddhism to seek additional perspectives. Combining the skills of nuanced awareness cultivated through meditation with the reflectiveness that comes from sensitive cultural and psychological exploration provides a new opening on the process of adopting traditional practices in a modern venue. Few teachers and authors, however, acknowledge that given our values there will of necessity be enormous cultural and psychological pressure on us when we seek guidance from teachers who value tradition, communal support, discipline, and liberation from this world. Yet it is not a simple matter to discard the habitual inclinations of our personality and culture, and this can prove to be quite an obstacle in practice. For example, many of us, through direct experience with therapy or under its ubiquitous influence in our culture, will use time on the cushion to immerse ourselves in the contents of our mind, rather than observe its process as traditional teachers would instruct. Through engaging in the former, we may indeed further our psychological understanding of ourselves, but we prevent contact with a specific path to deeper reaches of freedom. It is through the mindful experience of such inclinations and a detailed emotional understanding of their workings that we can begin to have some control over the pervasive cultural influences that limit our lives.

This process is incremental. The longer I study and practice Buddhism, the better I understand its traditional context in relation to the psychological emphasis found in modern Western culture. Once we acknowledge our differences, it becomes possible for us to consider if there is something we wish to alter in our orientation. The more differences we can discern, the more opportunities we have to reflect on who we are and what we may wish to become. Along with these cultural differences, certain predominant psychological propensities and vulnerabilities lend themselves to particular interpretations of Buddhist teachings. Individuals who find difficulty with commitment and motivation often find refuge in Buddhist language that counsels renunciation and nonattachment. Such students see only what they psychologically need to see rather than what is actually there, and consequently they limit what they can absorb from the tradition. Such an approach involves a similitude of spiritual life but prevents real personal change. Are we willing to look patiently at the obscuring emotional issues that we bring to our practice? Can we carefully discard our psychological distortion while leaving the nurturing kernel of Buddhist guidance? I believe we can take a curious, reflective, and wholeheartedly engaged approach to this process.

Buddhist Practice on Western Ground presents traditional teachings that illustrate the fundamental vision of Buddhism—a path to free our minds of limitation and open our hearts—along with cross-cultural and psychological reflections on approaching these teachings in a way that is respectful and appreciative of their—and our—cultural context. Choosing depth over breadth in this work, I have limited my focus to four central themes in Buddhist teachings that have significant yet often confusing psychological correlates: self, anger, love, and attachment. Considering the Buddhist and psychological teachings on these subjects has brought to the surface my deepest questions and led to the deepest positive change I have experienced.

I have felt tremendous appreciation for the breakthroughs provided by my experience of Buddhist practice and psychotherapy and my inquiries into their differences and convergences. Through the various reflections, instructions, teachings, and contemplations offered here, I hope to provide opportunities for Western students to look anew at the meaning and quality of their lives and to enhance and deepen their spiritual experience. In considering our emotional life from both a Buddhist and a therapeutic perspective, I look at ways in which both disciplines can be used to reduce harm to others as well as ourselves, while promoting sensitivity, enhancing autonomy, and opening paths to honest and intimate relationships. It is my hope that those who are new to Buddhist practice can bring greater clarity to their spiritual endeavors from the start. For those already immersed, this book offers a new way of working with the traditional teachings that can multiply the rewards of practice.