We must learn to speak with love again. I remember a young American who came to us to practice. One day, he was asked to write a letter to his mother in order to practice loving speech, which was easy for him. On the other hand, it was impossible for him to write a letter to his father. His father had died, but he still suffered every time he thought of him. Just the idea of picking up a pen to write to his father already caused him a great deal of suffering.

I proposed the following to him. For one week he practiced mindful breathing, saying to himself, "I am breathing in—I see myself as a child of five." When one is a little boy of five, one is very delicate and vulnerable. As he was breathing in, he saw himself as the object of his own compassion. During the second week, he meditated on his father: "I am breathing in—I see my father as a little child of five; I am breathing out—I smile at the little boy who was my father."

For a whole week, the young American did this very faithfully and very enthusiastically. He put a photo of his father on the table and every time he walked into the room and looked at it, he practiced mindful breathing. He had never imagined that his father could have been a child of five. Suddenly the young man acknowledged the presence of his father as a little boy. It was the first time that he realized that his father had suffered as a little boy, and suddenly he felt compassion. Finally one evening he found it possible to write a first letter to his father. That transformed him completely, and now he has peace in his heart.

—from True Love