FromChapter 4: Queer Eye of Spirit

Sunday, June 20

I find myself struggling with the Christian label. It seems such a mixed bag, and frankly it’s an obstacle to faith for me. I have so many negative conceptions about the socially conservative Christians that I want nothing to do with their brand of Christianity. Although I’m not offended by the liberal Christians, I find their worship and theologies dull.

And yet who alive can humbly read the Gospel accounts of this magnificent Jesus and truly feel worthy to call herself a Christian? Perhaps it is best said that there are very few true Christians (and even fewer inside the Church than outside, I would guess). Whatever else it means to follow Christ, surely it means that we must take off the masks that we wear, each and every one of us—the masks that tell us we are not already members of the Body of Christ, One with God just as Jesus was.

To be One with God, a man must reject all that is not his highest Self, even if doing so makes him a pariah in conventional society, which may shun him and even attempt to deny his right to a place at the table. When others give us a mask to wear, we must reject it. That is the way of Christ. Authenticity is the way Jesus modeled. Authenticity is the gateway to a higher place in consciousness, whatever stage you’re at.

Conservative religionists don’t understand authenticity. They think if we’re truly ourselves, we’ll all be wicked beasts. But what if in being truly ourselves we discovered that we were all Christlike? Where can those of us who see the possibilities of authenticity—who see in Jesus Christ not merely a teacher of virtue or morality, but a true revelation of God and our higher Self—go to nurture our faith, when the churches have failed us?

FromChapter 5: Dangerous Thoughts

Friday, August 20
What's in a Label?

I was 20 years old when I first put a label on my sexuality. Actually, I was spared the chore of coming out to my mom, because a university librarian outed me.

I had secretly known that I was different from most other boys since junior high school. One summer, I decided to do some research on sexuality. I had checked out books on bisexuality at the college library. Unfortunately, I returned a few books a day late.

The library system was very efficient. They immediately printed out an overdue notice and sent it to my permanent address on file. My mother opened the letter from the library, saw the titles of the books, and mailed the notice to me. My process of coming out had begun!

I have worn various labels for my sexuality at different points in my life. Since coming out, I have used labels including bisexual, gay, and queer. I am a man more attracted to men than to women, so the gay label works just fine for me most of the time.

Some people hate labels and rebel against them. But before you can sing the praises of not being labeled, you need to ask yourself if you aren’t still disowning a part of yourself. How can you truly embrace your sexuality without owning it? You cannot own your sexuality if you are unwilling to give it a name.

At the intersection of sex, identity, and spirituality, there are two major stages. At the first stage, we must own our identities as gay, queer, bisexual, transgender, or whatever feels appropriate. Our task is to learn to fully inhabit who we are, especially in the face of religions and cultures that have heaped shame upon us.

At the second major stage, we must learn to transcend our identities. Our task becomes learning to identify with our spiritual nature and not strictly with our sexual or other finite identities. We must take coming out to the next level: realizing ever more deeply our fundamental nature.