FromChapter 1: An Introduction to Loving-Kindness

All happiness in the world
Comes from wishing happiness for others.
All suffering in the world
Comes from the desire to have
happiness only for oneself.
—Shantideva

Loving-kindness is the thought of wishing joy for all beings and the whole universe—without limits and conditions—and putting that wish into practice. The eighteenth-century Dzogchen teacher Jigme Lingpa wrote, “The essence of loving-kindness is wishing happiness for others. Like a loving mother for her [only] child—It is giving up [your care for] your own body, wealth and [the benefits of] virtuous deeds, and solely serving others and tolerating hardships caused by them.” Loving-kindness is love, but it is pure love, love that is totally open, universal, having no limits, unconditional—a love that has no attachment, no ego-centeredness, no self-centeredness.

Meditation on loving-kindness is a training on the thoughts and deeds that benefit others. It is a practice that opens our heart with love to all, causing our life to blossom with feelings of boundless peace and joy. Peace and joy generated by loving-kindness awaken our own enlightened mind and transform us into skilled, competent, humble servants for all beings. Authentic world peace and and true happiness will only ever come from loving-kindness.

The Buddha of Loving-Kindness

Traditionally, we start the meditation on loving-kindness by focusing our mind directly on wishing joy for one person and then gradually for others and finally for all. But here, we start the meditation by warming up and opening our devotional heart, by seeing the Buddha as the Buddha of Loving-Kindness (Avalokitesvara), and then feeling his unconditional love in us. When the presence and feeling of the loving-kindness of the Buddha touch us, the loving-kindness of our own mind awakens. Then whatever we see—every being and the whole universe—will arise as the images and feeling of loving-kindness, unconditional love.

Visualizing the Buddha of Loving-Kindness, we think of and feel his unconditional love. Then with prayers we invoke, receive, and enjoy Buddha’s love in the form of blessing light. We feel the awakening of the thoughts and feelings of Buddha’s pure love in our body, heart, and mind. Such meditation awakens the thoughts and feelings of pure love in us, as the pure love of a loving mother educates her child in true love.

After we have gained some idea and feeling of the loving-kindness of the Buddha, we will go on to see, think of, and feel for other beings through the same feeling of loving-kindness, the wish of joy for all. Then, because of the blessing power of the Buddha of Loving-Kindness, our meditation on loving-kindness will become pure, powerful, and perfect.

Loving-Kindness and Compassion

Avalokitesvara is popularly known as the Buddha of Compassion. But in fact he is the Buddha of infinite enlightened qualities such as loving-kindness and omniscience, too. That is why we see him as the Buddha of Loving-Kindness. The Shakyamuni Buddha said,

Pay homage to the lord, Avalokitesvara
Who has perfected oceans of virtues,
Who sees all beings with the eyes of loving-kindness
and compassion, and
Whose pure qualities are as vast as the ocean.

When we talk about the Buddha of Loving-Kindness, we are not talking about an individual Buddhist person or figure, but rather we are referring to a symbol, a presence, a quality and source of universal and pure love and blessings, as well as the support for our meditation on loving-kindness.

Meditation on compassion usually starts with thinking about the suffering of others, and aspiring for them not to have suffering and the causes of suffering. Such aspiration always leads us to the realization of great joy, as we are serving others who are in need and realizing that the ultimate compassion is absolute joy, the omnipresence of Buddhahood. However, at the beginning—before reaching the state of such joy—some meditators could be overwhelmed by the thoughts and feelings of the suffering that so many other beings are enduring.

By contrast, meditation on loving-kindness usually starts by aspiring for others to have joy and the causes of joy. For this reason, meditation on loving-kindness may be easier for new meditators, and meditation on loving-kindness and compassion are equally effective trainings. In our practice here, furthermore, we will start the meditation by generating the loving-kindness of the Buddha through the power of our own devotional mind, which is a highly beneficial enhancement of our meditation.

As many of us already know very well, on most occasions the experiences of happiness and suffering in our minds are influenced by how we perceive mental objects—as positive or negative. As I mentioned earlier, if a man enters the room and we perceive him as a terrorist, we will freeze with shock and fear by the mere sight and sound of him. But if we then realize that he is a kind and gentle person whom we know well, we will feel relieved and joyful. If we perceive someone as attractive, we could become attached to that idea of him or her and sleepless obsession could follow. Clearly, how we perceive our mental objects makes a great difference to our mind state and to how we feel and live.