By now the name and work of Pema Chödrön are known to many. She has written several books, and her retreats around the world are filled to overflowing. Unprecedented numbers of new people are drawn to her teachings, and invitations pour in from every direction for teaching, travel, talks, interviews, and media events of all sorts. Yet little is known of Pema's life beyond the meditation cushion and the best-seller lists, or how she came to her deep understanding of life's difficulties and the wisdom they offer.
Born Deidre Blomfield-Brown in New York in 1936, Pema (whose Buddhist name means "Lotus Dharma Torch") was still very young when her family moved to New Jersey, where she remained throughout her adolescence, sharing what she recalls as a very pleasant and gentle childhood in the company of an older brother and sister. Raised Catholic, Pema attributes the beginning of her spiritual life to her boarding school experience. She attended an excellent girls' prep school, which "cultivated my intellectual curiosity. I remember it as a time of beginning to go deeper." After graduating, Pema enrolled in Sarah Lawrence College, Bronxville, N.Y., only to leave both college and home two years later at the age of twenty-one to get married in 1957.
Just a year later, Pema gave birth to her daughter, Arlyn, and three years later to her son, Edward. In 1961 she and her family moved to Berkeley, Calif., where she enrolled at UC Berkeley and completed her studies, receiving a bachelor's degree in English literature and a master's in elementary education. Pema then began a teaching career that would span a decade and a half, during which time her first marriage ended.
Pema eventually remarried and moved with her family to Taos, New Mexico. It was there that she hit a turning point. "I remember so vividly a day in early spring when my whole reality gave out on me," she reflects in When Things Fall Apart. "Although it was before I had heard any Buddhist teachings, it was what some would call a genuine spiritual experience. It happened when my husband told me he was having an affair. I was standing in front of our adobe house drinking a cup of tea. I heard the car drive up and the door bang shut. Then he walked around the corner, and without warning he told me that he was having an affair and he wanted a divorce. I remember the sky and how huge it was. I remember the sound of the river and the steam rising up from my tea. There was no time, no thought, there was nothing—just the light and a profound, limitless stillness. Then I regrouped and picked up a stone and threw it at him."
The ending of this relationship—which produced unexpectedly intense feelings of anger, fear, and groundlessness—sent Pema on a search for answers. She explored different therapies and spiritual traditions, but nothing seemed to address what she was feeling. Then she came upon an article by Chögyam Trungpa, "Working with Negativity." Pema had had no exposure to Buddhism and didn't even know the article was written by a Buddhist. But it had to do with using the emotions she was experiencing and understanding their wisdom. She decided to explore further what Trungpa had to say, and in 1974, having found some answers to her questions through his teachings, she was ordained as a novice nun. Over the ensuing years, Pema formally became a student of Trungpa's and began practicing with great determination.
In 1981 Pema's Tibetan teachers encouraged her to take the full nun's ordination—to become a bhikshuni. But full ordination for women had been lost in the Tibetan tradition. Pema was therefore instructed to go to Hong Kong, to seek ordination from Chinese Buddhists who still performed this rite. Because she didn't know where to go or whom to contact, it took a certain amount of both detective work and perseverance finally to locate a temple where she could be ordained. Pema was the only English-speaking person and the only Westerner who took ordination on that occasion.
In 1985, at the request of Chögyam Trungpa, Pema helped establish Gampo Abbey, the first Tibetan Buddhist monastery in North America for Western men and women. She also assumed the directorship of the abbey and its three-year retreat center. In 1990, Pema entered the three-year retreat herself, and since that time she has been the resident teacher at the abbey, continuing to teach courses, and helping to guide the new monks and nuns.
Yet even as such personal and global strides were being made, Pema's health was deteriorating. In 1994, after experiencing years of baffling, undiagnosable symptoms, she was found to be suffering from chronic fatigue–immune dysfunction syndrome as well as environmental illness. The following year, she undertook a long-term course of healing, beginning with a year off. In hindsight, she considers her illness to be an event of major significance: "It required me to simplify my life, a very sane thing to do."
Her discomfort became a source of compassion, "a heartfelt connection with all those unknown people" suffering similarly or much more than her. "Life has taught me the wisdom of moving toward what scares me," she concludes. It is the wisdom of this orientation—this willingness to be softened by life's experiences and gain from their wisdom—that has drawn so many to follow Pema's teachings in this area.
Pema currently teaches throughout the United States and Canada, and is planning to spend an increased amount of time in solitary retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche. She is dedicated to helping establish Tibetan Buddhist monasticism in the West, as well in continuing her work with Western Buddhists of all traditions, sharing ideas and teachings.
