Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication

“Unconscious patterns of communication create separation not only in our personal lives, they also perpetuate patterns of misunderstanding and violence that pervade our world. With clarity and great insight, Oren Jay Sofer offers teachings and practices that train us to speak and listen with presence, courage, and an open heart.”

“Oren Jay Sofer offers us a brilliant intertwining of focused presence and artful engagement. Our work, family, and any other relationships will benefit from his guidance.”

“Full of practical exercises that develop powerful communication and mindfulness skills, this timely and engaging book shows us how caring, curiosity, and connection can transform people's lives, even in the face of aggression.”

“By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have learned to operate through such deeply engrained patterns of language and behavior that virtually all of our communication involves projection, assumption, and bias. No wonder we often feel so cut off and all alone! Mr. Sofer deftly weaves together his mindfulness practice and principles of Nonviolent Communication to help us learn how to find one another again. This is a powerful guidebook to thinking, speaking, and listening with authenticity and care. Bravo!”

“Meeting the enormous challenges of living in these times calls for an integration of inner practices of mindfulness with outer practices of communicating with honesty, vulnerability, strength, care, and empathy. Oren shows us a way to do just that.”

“Oren Jay Sofer’s eloquent book Say What You Mean could just as well be titled Living What You Mean . Going beyond the surface level of communication, he describes our relational journey together in its inherent connections with how we behave, how we express, perceive, and meet the needs of ourselves and others, how we engage with difference and even conflict, how we negotiate love and anger

“Words have tremendous power

“This tremendous book addresses one of the biggest challenges in any relationship: how to combine heart with strength, compassion with assertiveness. Written with great warmth and clarity, it brings together well-researched principles, effective tools and suggestions, powerful experiential practices, and many examples. It is down-to-earth and completely accessible while also being so deep, even profound. If I had just one book to recommend about interpersonal communication, it would be this one.”

“Oren Jay Sofer’s first book, Say What You Mean , is a helpful guide for speaking wisely and with love. It offers terrific tools and understandings that are critical to the art of communicating clearly and from the heart.”

“Detailed, thorough, and practical, Say What You Mean shines light on the ability of good communication to bring more compassion, kindness, and wisdom to our relationships.”

“Through discussion and example, and supported by reflections and practices to ground the teaching, [Oren Jay Sofer] helps us explore our own habituated styles of not just communication, but of viewing the world, and how this impacts how we speak to one another, and, importantly, how we listen.”

“Communication is crucial in a healthy society. In these times of strife and conflict, learning how to communicate effectively is one of the best things you can do, for yourself and for those around you. This book will teach you how to face any conversation, regardless of how tricky or fraught.”