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Book description

A healthy ego is necessary to achieving our goals, to building healthy relationships, and to leading a satisfying and meaningful life. But an ego that gets too big—that becomes egotism—can actually inhibit all those wonderful possibilities. In this luminous guide, David Richo offers wisdom from psychology, myth, and spiritual traditions to show us how to let go of the kind of ego that causes suffering for ourselves and others. As a wonderful result, we gain self-confidence and find new ways to love too. It’s not a matter of getting rid of ego but of seeing through it. When we learn to do that, Dave says, we’ll discover the core of indestructible goodness in our enlightened nature. Then, when we see “big ego” expressed in ourselves or others, we begin to regard it with compassion rather than disdain. We are truly, Dave shows, not what we think but much, much more.
David Richo

David Richo

Author Bio

David Richo, PhD, is a psychotherapist, teacher, writer, and workshop leader whose work emphasizes the benefits of mindfulness and loving-kindness in personal growth and emotional well-being. He is the author of numerous books, including How to Be an Adult in Relationships and The Five Things We Cannot Change. He lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California.

Praise for the book

Tara Brach

PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge

“How we relate to our ego—the sense of 'I'—determines our suffering and our freedom. David Richo does a brilliant job unpacking the unhealthy versions if ego that confine us. Through psychological and Buddhist wisdom teachings and a range of powerful practices and meditations, we are guided beyond the identity of seperate self to the loving awareness that is our deepest essence.”

Russ Harris

author of The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living

“This well-written, easy-to-read book will give a wealth of practical advice on how to unhook and disentangle yourself from the myriad unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, self-judgments, and self-concepts that we often refer to as ‘ego.’ If you want a healthier, happier, more compassionate relationship with yourself, this book is for you.”

Norman Fischer

author of Experience: Thinking, Writing, Language, and Religion

“David Richo uses concepts from neuroscience, psychology, and Buddhism to show us how to make a friend of our ego, that oddly obstreperous, often tyrannical—but ultimately useful—chimera.”

Author: David Richo

You Are Not What You Think: The Egoless Path to Self-Esteem and Generous Love

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