First Free Women

Poems Excerpted from The First Free Women

Another Mitta ~ Friend

My mother always told me,

Be good—
and you’ll get
everything
you ever
wanted.

Now I eat once a day
and wear only
a shaved head
and double robe.

It took some strength.
It took some courage to try
and see for myself.

The younger me would never have believed.

But these days I’m good
without having to wonder
whether anyone
is watching—
or not.

Sumangala’s Mother

Free.

Finally free
from having to stroke
my husband’s little umbrella
until it stands up straight.

His releases came quickly—
and with lots of grunting.

Mine has taken
a little longer—
and came with
the sound
of straight bamboo
being cleanly sliced
into two even pieces.

I now know for myself
where true release
comes from,
and where it leads.

A seat at the foot of any tree.

Chitta ~ Heart

Somehow I kept climbing—
though tired,
hungry,
and weak.

Old, too.

At the top of the mountain,
I spread my outer robe on a rock to dry,
set down my staff and bowl,
took a deep breath,
and looked around.

It was windy up there.

As I was leaning back
against a large gray rock,
the darkness I had carried
up and down
a million mountains—

slipped off my shoulders
and swept itself away
on the wind.

Uttama ~ Great Woman

For years I couldn’t sleep.

Most nights I’d throw off the covers
and take long runs through the dark.

Nothing helped.

My sisters.

When sleepless nights come
to tear you into little pieces,

rise to meet the day
as a tree rises to meet the axe—
as a scalp bows to meet the blade—
as sparks from a dying fire
reach out to meet the darkness—
as all of our bones
someday fall softly down
to meet earth.

When you stand,
send your roots down between the stones.

When you walk,
walk like a skeleton walking to its grave.

When you lie down,
lie down like a blown-out candle
being put back in a drawer.

When you sit,
sit very
very
still.

My sisters, sit like you are dead already.

How could this world possibly
give you what you’re looking for
when it’s so busy
falling apart—
just
like
you?

Look closely.
Don’t move until you see it.

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